Conference Center

Nat and I took the boys plus Adelaide (Ashley was packing) and met Emily and her kids to tour the conference center for Family Home Evening tonight. I wanted the kids to be able to picture the setting as they watch this weekend (we will be watching from the mission home in San Diego with my parents). It made my heart soar to think of these cousins and the memories they are making together. They stood around the Book of Mormon pictures for a good long while, noticing the details and discussing their favorite scripture stories. It touched me to watch their testimonies grow together. It's the dream Emily and I used to conjure up while we laid in bed next to each other as little girls. We planned out our lives and dreamed of our kids growing up together and supporting each other in the church.



I love these pictures of me and Emily with our kids. I feel like we are mother hens with all our little chicks gathered round.

Inspired

I sat down tonight at the end of a discouraging day. I felt unsettled, unsure about the future, disappointed about lost opportunities and angry. I long so much to know where we will be living, when I will be able to get my belongings out of storage and whether these years and years of schooling will pay off for our family. I spent much of the afternoon in tears.

We read a picture book, finished the book of Alma (yipee!), then said prayers. Then Luke requested, as usual, that I find a conference talk for him to listen to-- that boy loves General Conference. We tried several different talks and they all failed to load properly. I finally settled on reading him one and came across Elder Andersen's talk from October of 2008 (go ahead, read it-- you'll be glad you did).

I cried my way through the whole thing, sniffling while I read aloud. Luke patted me patiently on the back as I struggled to compose myself. It was God speaking to me. The whole thing is so heartfelt, so sincere, and so true. The whole idea is that we don't need to know everything, we just need to know that the Lord loves us and that is enough.

I do know that the Lord loves me and my family and that is enough for right now. I can choose faith.

Bean Box

I have had a long term love/hate relationship with sand boxes. We had a large one on the screened in porch in Madison. Luke would spend hours at a time out there. His imagination soared. I got a ton done indoors while he played. I painted the entire kitchen (more than once, I'll admit to being fickle about wall colors) while he played out there. I loved it. What I didn't love was the sand crusted into his sweaty little boy head that never seemed to come out completely. I didn't love the feeling of stepping on sand in my house. I didn't love sweeping constantly but never quite getting all the sand. We tried again with a sand table on the deck in Maryland. Three boys and sand= someone crying with sand in their eyes, especially when one of those boys is under two years old and has a penchant for throwing. I sold the table to my neighbor.

But there was a lingering desire to provide the boys with the tactile, open ended play that sand provides. Then I came across a post on one of my favorite blogs about a bean box. It's perfect, really. Beans are cheap, non-toxic, easy to clean up and really fun to play with (they are also beautiful). We bought an under the bed storage container, some kitchen tools, added various beans and voilá!-- hours of creative fun.

All the kids love it. Ashley and I love it. My favorite activity is sorting the different beans into the ice cube tray. There is lots of measuring, sometimes cars are driven through the beans and Isaac samples a different bean every time we get it out.

These boys

I love the ages that the boys are right now. The combination of stages makes life very entertaining, to say the least. We've also added lots of cousin interactions, which adds a new dimension to their development. I love watching these boys and their blossoming personalities and relationships.

Isaac is at the age where his vocabulary is booming, he adds multiple words and phrases each day. This weekend, while we were staying at Emily's house, he started saying, "What the heck?" Only when it comes out it sounds more like, "Wat ga heck?" He is also really into telling me what he just said. He will state something like, "I want Wukey (Lukey)" and then tell me, "I said 'I want Wukey, mom'." He started this a few weeks ago and it really struck me that he was able to talk about what happened in the past. He is also filling the sentences up with personal and possessive pronouns lately. It is so fun to listen to. His new skills also give him the tools he needs to boss his brothers around-- so liberating! He is, however, a non-stop ball of energy. This morning he got into the tub of vaseline and had it spread all over the pile of clean laundry and sheets before I caught him. When I exclaimed his name he looked up and me and asked in his most sassiest of tones, "What?" which is another trademark Isaac phrase. I swear he learned sass earlier than his brothers. He does reward my patience each day by sleeping nearly 13 hour nights and long afternoon naps. He is heartbreakingly sweet when it is nap or bedtime, staring at me with his big brown eyes and requesting songs like, "Jesus Beam" (Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam) or "Child God". He melts into me and relaxes until at some point he requests his bed and wants me to leave so that he can fall asleep. He's also warmed up to his aunts and uncles nicely which is rewarding and relieving. He also, somehow, learned all the words to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and we sing it all the time.

Noah continues to see the world in his own special way. He jumps to conclusions quickly and makes me laugh all the time. He mishears everything and I love hearing him talk about the "elfs" (elk) in the mountains and wonder aloud whether those elfs will eat people. The other day he had his sword out and was talking all about attacking those "cabbages". It took me a while to figure out that he was talking about savages. I never correct mistakes like this because a part of me hopes he will call them cabbages his whole life. He still uses the term mine incorrectly, much to my happiness. He's always looking for "mine shoes", "mine bag" or "mine LEGOS". He is loving preschool and while he never can sit down and tell me what he did at school that day I get little glimpses as I watch him play. He instructs Addie and Isaac to repeat what he says as he teaches them little rhymes and finger plays. He is learning to write his name well and I catch him sounding out words here and there. He's asleep next to me right now with a pack of stickers clutched in his hand so that we remember to make him a chart first thing in the morning.

Luke LOVES the chance that he has to be with his cousins more frequently. We spent the entire weekend at Emily's and when it was time to go the tears welled up in his eyes at the thought of leaving Jakob. I remember clinging to my cousin Lauren and crying and crying when it was time to say good-bye. I eat lunch at school with him every Friday, which he loves. I really enjoy seeing him in that context. He chatters away with his friends, telling me tidbits about each one of them. I am still enjoying the time when he loves being with me in public and loves to have me around with his friends. I hope that's always the case. This year's crush is Mallory-- he has one every year. In preschool he brought home hearts with his name that the girls had made for him. Kindergarten got more elaborate with misspelled notes. I am still waiting to see how first grade crushes work out. His desire to do what's right is genuine and he is crushed when he falls shorts. We have lots of talks about how everyone makes mistakes and how we can fix the things that we mess up. He's an old soul.

Each night as I kneel and thank God for my blessings and my little men I never fail to feel a sense of awe. I am so blessed to be the mother of these boys. I am rich, indeed.

Surviving, just barely

I have so much to document and so much I need to get down, recorded in this space. I will (hopefully) catch up here once I can get the clothes folded. Most days, it's about all I can do to get everyone dressed, fed, and to their respective schools with homework completed.

I will also attribute it to the fact that Nat has my computer in Maryland and while the PCs found around here will get the job done, they just aren't as much fun.

Here is a link to dear Jen's account of our trip up Provo Canyon last weekend. I do love those Bronsons. My boys are still talking about the s'mores, the wildlife and Jen, Jonny and Marian.

We've also had our little share of drama around here. Isaac fell last night and took a good chunk out of the bridge of his nose. After consultation with our dear ophthalmologist friend I drove him down to the ER in Provo, the best in the area. The wound was cleaned and a steri-strip applied. He slept well and then promptly removed the strip this morning (I took him down to get looked at and it seems that it should heal fine on its own at this point). In the meantime I contracted food poisoning and added that to the cold I have been fighting all week. Then I mothered three children all day, though not without help from Ashley and Caleb.

There is a real sweetness to being this close to my family during this vulnerable time in our family's life. I told Ashley today that I don't think I can bear moving away from my sisters. Mothering our sweet little ones together is the way I want to do this.

That said, I miss Nat terribly. The ache is tangible. We aren't meant to be apart. I have a week and a day left until he joins us here.

Good things are around the corner, I can just feel it.

Preschool

We had another first day around here. This guy skipped off to preschool. He was just the littlest bit nervous but was very brave about being dropped off. He came home and reported that he had a good day and that, "everyone there is mine friend."

Sadly, I have been too rushed lately to get him a new pair of school shoes. I guess that is the plight of the second child, he had to wear his beat up summer pair. He didn't seem to mind, though.

Labor Day in Boise

We spent a wonderful weekend in Boise. There was much cousin love, wonderful food, and some late night momma chats.

Thanks to the Boise Fredins!

Here are some great pictures from Whitney.

First Grade (or 14th, as the case may be)

Luke started first grade last Wednesday. It was a rocky start (complete with lots of dramatic statements about the awful things he'd rather do than go to school) but when he woke up yesterday morning he informed me that, "there is nothing about first grade that I don't like." He then proceeded to get himself ready while singing made up songs about how great first grade is. Aside from the fact that he is bringing home the same worksheets that he completed in pre-K in Maryland, I am quite happy with the school as well. It is such a nurturing, friendly environment. Noah starts preschool next week and we find ourselves quite happy with the little rhythm we see emerging in our days. This is going to be good.


New shoes are an important part of a new school year, no?

Spencer just returned from his mission and he started his sophomore year at UVU the same day Luke started and I made him pose for a picture with Luke. We love having Spencer around, especially the boys.