I sat down tonight at the end of a discouraging day. I felt unsettled, unsure about the future, disappointed about lost opportunities and angry. I long so much to know where we will be living, when I will be able to get my belongings out of storage and whether these years and years of schooling will pay off for our family. I spent much of the afternoon in tears.
We read a picture book, finished the book of Alma (yipee!), then said prayers. Then Luke requested, as usual, that I find a conference talk for him to listen to-- that boy loves General Conference. We tried several different talks and they all failed to load properly. I finally settled on reading him one and came across Elder Andersen's talk from October of 2008 (go ahead, read it-- you'll be glad you did).
I cried my way through the whole thing, sniffling while I read aloud. Luke patted me patiently on the back as I struggled to compose myself. It was God speaking to me. The whole thing is so heartfelt, so sincere, and so true. The whole idea is that we don't need to know everything, we just need to know that the Lord loves us and that is enough.
I do know that the Lord loves me and my family and that is enough for right now. I can choose faith.
5 comments:
You are inspiring. Thank you.
I love you.
Snif
It's a little scary to read this, because I feel like I'm literally following in your footsteps (Adam is considering going to a National Lab after this ... not to mention that he picked up on Nat's research when you guys left ... not to mention that I have only boys). But I'm in awe at how well you're dealing with it. With such an eye of faith. Keep it up!
Hey Carrie, I am sorry you have been discouraged. I love your faith. You really are inspiring. I would love to chat with you! Send me your new # again. I have been trying your old cell and I guess it has changed.
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